This is a compilation of my poetry. Most of these are written in a melancholy mood, but I promise you I'm not this sad in real life
enough
silence is the expectation take the punches that life throws
voice is taboo and loud gives them a migraine no matter the day
insecurities is not for the strong maybe it's cause I’m weak but it plagues every thought
conundrum every moment on this earth plagued with it all free me from it all
Response to "enough":
This is a poem about toxic masculinity being enforced growing up and how it does not allow young men to express themselves. It causes a buildup of tension and stress within males from the inability to talk about it. Growing up, I was taught to "take the punches" life threw at me and not complain a bit. If I talked about my issues, I was told to deal with it. It was really frustrating not being able to discuss my problems with anyone that truly cared as it is dismissed. It caused confusion and chaos in an angsty teenager.
Turmoil a lung so dark my breath cut short obsession with my only self
ears deaf to songs the record still plays infatuation the most vile drug
hands up to fight no one but me depression? they tell me not
Growing Old (I’m 18)
live in the moment breathe the air throughout wait not for atonement act fast without a doubt
save it for when old for time is fleeting write your life in bold youth with no heeding
live fast die young old age is no friend to youth I clung wish that time could bend
Response to the Above:
As I turned the benchmark age of 18 this January, I had general uneasiness on that birthday. I couldn't point my finger to it. I did not want to celebrate my birthday, simply just take my gifts and go back to my life. It was at 2 am that night for which I realized the source of this uneasiness. I realized 18 means that I will never get to live my childhood again. If I don't live in the moment now I'll miss the years of my prime. I'll be like Carmelo on the Rockets: old and wack. Hearing my mama I talk about her travels when she was a young adult, I felt that the days seemed like just yesterday for her even though her hair is turning grey. It's almost sad how life works in that many miss out on the prime years of their life by not seizing the time or "carpe diem" as they would say.
Nostalgia
here's to better days for it all tastes different it's not just a phase mom it's different
never had I ever wanted to go back to the days full of endeavors for it all to be back
reminisce about the times where there was a smile that broke boundaries and lines when I smiled
summer was a movie of pure bliss to enjoy so much beauty that I can’t seem to enjoy
Response to "Nostalgia":
I frequently have an overwhelming desire to go back to my childhood where I would just watch T.V with my sister and the biggest problem was boredom from nothing to do. I would even want to go back to the trouble making middle-schooler I was where responsibility was just a word they taught to me. As I matured and grew more responsible, the less satisfaction I possess. Even thinking back to two years ago, the summer was different and felt different. I was able to relax and take my time. Now, everything seems to be in a rush and is suffocating.
Maturity trying to change what other people think of you orme?
is like trying to force
a blIND manto appreciATE
art! change happens within
it CAN’Tbe FORCED it happenssmoothly I hate the person that was me
12 months ago
yet next year is
another 12 months
will I ever STOPcHanGinG
Stuck it all becomes suffocating ever so intoxicating moments of euphoria causing dysphoria
losing my mind feeling so confined free my soul and let it take its toll
too much time makes thinking a crime insecurities plague my move that many disapprove
voices too loud yet an empty crowd what am I to do need friends to rendezvous
Response to Stuck:
Quarantine gives everyone a lot of time to think. All this time alone and without much distractions means that the mind can wander freely. This means that you begin to think about the past. I used to always be doing something either working, doing homework, working out, or hanging with friends. Now that these opportunities are limited, I have a lot of time just by myself. Insecurities start plaguing the mind, and you begin thinking about the people that you don't talk to anymore. You think about what would have become or what could have been. Thinking about the good times causes temporary "moments of euphoria" but in the end it causes pain as you realize how much you miss those moments.
Change
can you
spare some change
please free us all
forhe has
turnedhisf a c e
away
from us he has left us.
be the C H A N G E
the wOrLd?needs
let it all change us
Trapped my mind lies an iron-clad prison they say i'm freed since he risen yet i am alone in this cold thoughts more vast than any religion
my body young but mind so old i wrote this story tis in bold throwing hands but without a foe maybe this mind is so of mold
stuttering words disrupt the flow they find my fate like that of poe eerie tragic and ever strange it is no raven but a crow
take my mind, dear and please arrange spit in thy hand in this exchange please help this wicked soul to change please help this wicked soul to change
Shame
This hate and prejudice So widespread So common The world has to know Spread the news
Yet when this happens to me I cease to stop it I let it crush me Silence me
It's easy to post another tweet Another story Shaming the shamed Following the trend
Its hardest To stand up for what you Tweet Or post
Spit in the aggressor’s face Express the contempt held Keep the energy You held
Response to "Shame"
This is one of my most controversial opinions and a very pessimistic view I have. It seems recently that people have taken to social media to post about racism or any discriminatory behavior. I seen comments of how people must be stopped and changed. This is a good trend as it brings awareness to many situations. However, I believe that so many of these people demanding change occur not backing their words up. When the situation arises in which they can better affect the world, its uncertain if they would follow through, although that is human tendency. Racial discrimination and equality is talked about so much recently but just a few months back a homeless man dies in New York with his dead body at the train station without anyone paying mind to. Where was the posts when that occurred? It feels like people are voicing thoughts just because its the trend.
Internal Conflict
spit on my face tell me I'm not good enough ruining my grace thinking your noble just like macduff
nothing but a fiend making me decide I am but a king committing regicide I cease to forget your sense of cause for you owe me a debt due to my fall with your applause
Hazel Eyes those eyes those pretty hazel gems are the doors to the soul the lock and key to my heart they tell me the could of making me lose the grip on beauty’s reality
I have healed regardless I posses a respect a love for me and mine those tell me otherwise receive cold aloof
Paradox
it hits like a truck all the memories all the hate empty pit filled with throw up it was the bait
that wicked crooked love o the burden of infatuation a hand that killed the dove expecting my retaliation
not hate that I feel how odd love is it's rather how I heal disgust and not bliss